un

i feel un-

inspired
motivated
challenged
rested
janean

and want all of the above to be undone.

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places." — Roald Dahl.

YES!

i am alive.

be inspired with me:

The only dream worth having ... is to dream that you will live while you’re alive and die only when you’re dead ... To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or to complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.

- Arundhati Roy
From her book, The Algebra of Infinite Justice

O Lord, open my eyes that I may see the needs of others; open my ears that I may hear their cries; open my heart so that they need not be without succor; let me not be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong, nor afraid to defend the poor because of the anger of the rich ... And so open my eyes and my ears that I may this coming day be able to do some work of peace for thee.

- Alan Paton

a birthday wish

Growing up, I LOVED any holiday providing a reason to get gifts. Birthdays and Christmas.....and then, after watching my brother being showered with presents during his two hospitalizations, my list of possible present receiving occasions expanded.

Happy Birthday presents
Merry Christmas presents
Happy Hospitalization presents

Through high school, I would think up the most economical ways to invite the most people to "celebrate" my life. In tenth grade, my Dad asked why I invite so many people to my birthday parties, "Why not just a few friends." Without a blink, without a thought:

"The more people, the more presents."

What a motto to live by. But there you have it, I LOVE gifts.

Over the years, my idea of gifts has changed. At seven years old, I'd see a commercial about the footise, new and improved with a counter to see how many times you could jump over the rope without tripping up (you know what I'm talking about)...so, I'd see the commercial and think, "THAT's what I want for my birthday....only nine more months!" All year, I'd come across things that I just knew would make that year the best birthday ever.

Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE gifts...however, my taste has narrowed in a way that happens when distant horizons are explored, alone. There's nothing like looking at the sun setting over a seemingly endless desert with only your eyes. To share that sunset and see, if only a glimpse, the sun set through another's eyes, through another's perspective...that is a gift. To talk face to face with Mom and discuss ideas and thoughts that don't mean much to her except that it allows us to be, if only for a moment, in the same moment, nearing the same place, face to face....that is a gift. To look around a room full of smiling faces; friends, family...that is a gift.

To know and to be known. To love and to be loved. Gifts worth wanting. Gifts worth sharing.

This year, my birthday wishes have already come true.

I am so grateful. Thank you.

breathing, still.

After watching a movie with my brother and a friend, I returned to the two bedroom hotel room where my parents and grandparents were fast asleep. As I got ready for bed, I realized that the light in my grandparents room was still on, but I could tell that they sleeping. Quietly, I snuck into their room and, just as I turned off the bedside lamp, I glanced over. Watery eyed, I stood their. No, I wasn't standing. I felt like I was falling while being held in that moment, that space. Breathing. Perhaps dreaming. Sleep. Life. At first, I only heard breathing and that was enough. No immediate thoughts. Just listening, watching.

Life is so fragile and in this moment of vulnerability, my response wasn't to analyze, contemplate, or discuss. Tears. At first from the beauty of breath that sings the song of life. But then it was the sound of my Grandma calling me for dinner as she has since I was old enough to respond. Then the voice of my Grandpa telling me why he became a Christian after years of being a Buddhist. Then the sound of the train trekking through the Canadian Rockies as Grandpa sits with eager eyes watching the breath-taking beauty pass by, deep in thought articulated with simple laughter when I ask what he's thinking. Then their excited voices congratulating me at my graduation. Then their supportive reassurances as I moved to Egypt. And now tonight. I wrote this after dinner tonight:

A while back, Mom and Dad heard about "Tip Top" diner on one of those travel channel episodes. Excited to finally bridge the reality and T.V., Mom mapquested Tip Top, officially adding it to our itinerary. An afternoon of reading and relaxing (yes, Ikeda's DO relax on vacation) turned into an evening of Happy Hour in the lounge (In fact, extremely happy when we found out this hour included food along with the drinks...FREE!) Happy Hour turned into two hours, turned into "Mom's Mangle" when she realized we had 12 minutes to find this restaurant and order our food before they close. Having served during the closing shift, I know the internal tension when a party of seven walks in TWO minutes before closing. Presuming THEY would be like ME, I walk in with "I'm so sorry" look...

I left no consideration that some people actually enjoy the jobs they choose to stick with for more than thirty years -- be it washing dishes, serving food, refilling drinks....or welcoming eleventh hour GUESTS. Humbling is an understatement. They were sold out of their signature pulled-pork sandwich, but fully stocked with kindness, generosity, smiles, mouth-tingling pie, pleasant conversation, and a satisfaction with their lives that could be tasted in each bite of hamburger steak.... So satisfying that Grandma (yes, my little, 87 yr old, Japanese, 5' Grandma who got a ticket for crossing the street to slowly) didn't put down her fork until she was only two bites away from complete victory. Jared barely finished 3/4 of the same meal. TWO bites left. Fork down. I don't remember the specifics of my persuasion, but it went something like this: "From this moment, Grandma, whenever hamburger steak sits at the table, this story will be told. A story TWO bites away from being made!"

One bite left: "grandma. Grandma. [Mom joins in} GRANDMA. GRANDMA!!!"

Fork digs in. Mouth meets fork....with a glisten in her eyes, grandma savors the attention, holding the bite at her lips. A few waitresses have joined in the excitement. A cook peers through the window [the cheering may have been at Ikeda volume levels], a flash of the camera and the bite is gone. Devoured. Grandma owned the moment. A few claps, some high fives, proud smiles, a cleaned plate and then...from the farside of Grandma another fork raises. Last bite of salad on his fork (his unfinished country fried steak already packed in a to-go box), Grandpa leans forward for his moment. A 94 year old mouth, a childlike heart. Fork pauses at his mouth, freezing for a photo. A flash of the camera and the bite is gone. Salad all over Grandpa's lap. Priceless. A few more conversations with people who love thier jobs, love each other, and taught an unsuspecting guest a humbling lesson.

And now, breathing. Humbled, still.

settling in..

or something like it.

as my stuff finds a new home: clothes hung up, books on bookshelves, scarves and coats tucked away, records stored upright...things are looking like they're coming together.

except, the box of random, homeless stuff tucked in the back of my closet, the unsorted mail and paper collected and bagged while i've been away...then there are things i'm still unaware of like the contents in the container hiding under the bed that i refuse to open.

in a lot of ways, i feel like the current state of my room reflects the current state of me. i seem to be finding my place for the most part. but there are still things that i'm aware of that don't quite fit yet. then there are the things that i'm not even aware of.

today, the urge to get up and go -- go anywhere. somewhere. to be GOING -- crept up multiple times while getting my teeth cleaned. while mashing butternut squash. while sitting in my room, friends looking at my stuff, me looking at my stuff with new homes. a new home. stuff i've picked up along the way. now home. with me. unfamiliar.

i love being home. i love being with family. i love hanging out with friends.

but now my attention has a new home. along with my stuff. along with me.

i slept in my bed for the first time last night since leaving egypt. i don't think i will tonight.

i'm not ready for that sort of commitment.

Decisions

A friend continually reminds me that, as we get older, the margin for error decreases. Consequences for wrong or poor decisions seem to come at a higher cost. Living back with my parents illuminates this with the everyday, "small" decisions.

An unnecessary comment. Stuff left out. Dishes not washed. Every decision I make in this house affects everyone else living here. People notice my shoe pile growing in front of my bedroom door and aren't happy when they trip over my purse or knock over my mail. Ipod plugged into my Mom's computer. Letters waiting to be mailed on the dining room table. All these things are so minute and yet all so intricately entwined with the lives of others.

At the same time, all of my other decisions equally, if not more, affect those I've allowed into my life. How I spend my time with or without people, what I do or don't do, everything says something. So what am I saying? What have I failed to say? If every moment has a purpose, every now says something, then what am I saying now?

I fear, too often, "me" and "I" get in the way of what it is I really want to say. Of what I'm trying to say. Of what I've been saying all along:

I love you.

What are you saying now? Look at the people around you. The daily intersecting of lives? Before we know it, too many nows have passed and that voice, which we all have, forgets what life is all about.

May your decisions NOW speak something worth saying.

Something worth hearing.

While in Egypt, I discovered the enjoyment of baking. Aside from playing dough darts with left overs, baking has the potential to appeal to so many senses -- smells, hopefully, entice others to "check in," looks invite them to sit and indulge, taste keeps them coming back.

And I, when I have....no, when I make the time, enjoy the process -- selecting the recipe, gathering the ingredients, occasionally pretend I'm the host of a cooking show...only occasionally, I assure you :)

I prepared some pizza dough for lunch tomorrow. Yes, it's 1:30am, and I'm making pizza dough. Love it. With some locally grown tomatoes, I intend to use my Egyptian mom's tomato sauce recipe, throw in some basil from the garden, and.....some quality store bought mozzarella. Pick some lemons from the garden, make a little lemonade, cut a few orchids, find a few friends: a recipe for a good time, I hope. :)

And then I'll call my dentist to schedule the pulling of all my wisdom teeth. Post-pizza, of course!

waiting in the car at the open market. no parking. listening to Mark Driscoll's latest series: The Peasant Princess, Song of Solomon (Mars Hill Church, Seattle).

coffee breaking at the samoan jack in the box.

perusing the aisles of marukai, the japanese market.

a morning well spent with grandpa and grandma.

sipping tea made with fresh mint leaves from the spearment plant that i bought today.

hurting hands from cutting overgrown grass with scissors yesterday.

procrastinating from the daunting task of cleaning and organizing my room.

i've "grounded" myself. no phone, internet (after i'm done with this blog, of course), or re-cleaning my bookshelves and desk (the only places in my room that i consistently clean and organize) until i finish cleaning my entire room, which includes fully unpacking. grrr.

here goes.

To See Live:

Cirque du Soliel
Wicked
Transiberian Orchestra
Coldplay
Nickle Creek
Barcelona (again)

T time

tea seeps a subtly sophisticated ambiance while providing remedies of varying sorts. and yet, i have never enjoyed tea (except green teas) and, therefore, have never owned a tea set; that is, until this week.

i now own two tea sets. southern comfort has its appeal, obviously.

this past year, i have acquired a taste for tea and it's accompanying ambiance. "would you like a cup of tea" not only extends a gesture of hospitality but an opportunity for conversation and friendship. Lipton will do, but I hope to collect an array of appetizing, appealing, and unique teas.

along with my interest in wine, i hope to use my interest in tea as an extention of my interest in you, in being Together, in T time.

it's

really late. i'm tired but can't sleep. i don't drink much coffee but today, simulatenously sipped a tall caramel machiatto and soy, vanilla latte until both were finished. then did this intense workout with the couple i'm staying with. then met up with friends. then had a cup of tea. then came home. then had a great conversation with my friend. then watched a few clips of "so you think you can dance," then tried to sleep. then decided to share all of the above with you.

you know that feeling that comes over you the moment you realized that you've unintentionally hurt someone? that dreadful distaste. someone is hurting because of something you did...that's the feeling i experience when i consume coffee. today, i downed a double shot of dread. twelve hours later, the dread returns in a new form of distaste as i can't seem to find the final ingredient for this delicious recipe called sleep.

if only if i hadn't eagerly volunteered to take the drink that the barista shouldn't have messed up :)

ps. i love the south. southern comfort reminds me of the aloha spirit, bringing families and communities of people together - food, family, and fun top the priorities of both!

oh canada

still in canada for a few more days. learning lots....like my grandma files her nails on fridays, my grandpa has the HUGEST smile when interacting with his peers, papaya trees (like cherries) are male and female...oh wait, papayas don't grow on trees....there some other plant. there's a lot you learn while sitting on a train or bus for extensive periods of time.

while sticking my head out of the window of the vestibule on the train, i felt what i imagine to be a glimpse of the hope and anticipation of the pioneers back in the day. not knowing what's around the next ridge or through the next tunnel, we just kept riding on.

i've spent a lot of time with my grandparents. apparantly, my grandpa thinks i'm hilarious -- he laughs at all of my jokes! he's a keeper :) but seriously, i'm so glad i can spend this time with them. i'm especially interested to know what he's thinking as he stares out the window of the train for hours at a time...watching the world pass him by.

from the land of maple syrup and igloos ;)

defrost yourself

chris left today. jared left wednesday night.

i've said by to my brothers before this, but this is the first time in a really long time when i'm the one staying home. the majority of the things i love to do include them. the majority of my favorite memories include them.

i hope i never have to witness another today ever again. watching april let go of chris was one of the most beautiful, horrible things ever. two people so clearly made for each other, married for only six months, finally enjoying life with the one.....only to be separated. but she's not the only one, fathers holding babies only a few weeks old, mothers saying bye to infant children....it's sad. and yet, i couldn't help but feel even sadder for the few who seemed to have no one to cry with at their departure...no one crying over their coming absence.

all the emotions of the day were channeled through a craft session resulting in a new bracelet, headband, ring, and ideas for a few more accessories. i feel like i'm defrosting. the experience and emotional overload have left me quite numb to many thoughts, people, and things going on around me. i hope that this next month of traveling continues the defrosting process and not the opposite.

haha, how many people return from a year in egypt to defrost?

haha...

another day....still can't handle the pressure.

i'm really not laughing. just ironic from yesterday's post.

beauty

i can't find very, very important financial papers.
i can't seem to find enough time to spend with my brothers who leave very, very soon.
i can't find the words to express how blessed i am by the friendship of two beautiful women who i just dropped off at the airport.
i can't seem to express my appreciation (and even fully understand how blessed i am) for my parents.

there's so much that i can't do. it's frustrating but, for the lack of a better word, it's beautiful.

i'm surrounded by people who can't do it either....on their own.

frustrated. tired. enthusiastic. uncertain. insecure. incompetent. optimistic. energetic. frazzled. content. aspiring. apathetic. furious. excited. passionate. impatient. perseverant.

what would be the point of friends and family if we could do everything on our own? for this reason, i'm very, very excited to be home. but the transition back to the states, back to hawaii, back to home will (and hasn't been) the easiest. figuring out how the almost 23 yr. old, just lived in egypt, spent four years in seattle janean is going to fit in here is tiring. exhausting. frustrating. exciting. and at times, uncertain.

i'm adaptable. but i'm human. right now, more than ever, i don't feel like i can handle it all. but i KNOW that i'm surrounded by people who love me and will continue to love me. even when i'm ridiculously tired from little or no sleep. when i'm frustrated and furious about finances. when i'm impatient about achieving my pending aspirations. when i'm enthusiatic about all the opportunities and options i have ahead of me. when i'm passionate about helping others and when i'm apathetically content. when i'm feeling uncertain and insecure, pessimistic and frazzled.

be patient. i still feel like i might head over to my Egyptian family's house for dinner next sunday. i feel like i'm just passing through hawaii like i have so many times before. i feel like i've learned so much about myself and life but can't process and channel it all. my five years away from here has passed, but like a fruit fallen off of the tree, i'm still ripening (focus on the ripening part....not the falling off the tree part :)

i have so many things and thoughts about everything and nothing that i feel almost numb because i'm feeling so much so fast all at once non stop going going going busy no rest no break

beautiful

blessed.

re-exploration

Being home has been nothing but non-stop craziness. Enjoyable but exhausting. I've already met some really interesting people who have pointed me to more interesting people and places. I can't wait until I have the time (and money :) to enjoy a few of the following:


- The Fat Greek (supposedly a lot of Arabs, mostly Egyptians, frequent this place! Including belly dancing and live Arab music on Saturday nights)
- The Spot (smoothie and Egyptian food)
- Wine tasting (I just went to this fantastic restaurant with a nice selection of wine and enjoyed a very nice glass. next time, i'll order the taste size of a few types)
- Sewing lessons (I'm thinking about finding sponsors to pay for the lessons and, in return, I'll sew some nifty crafts for them....any takers???)
- LIVE music....at this point, just about anything will do
- camping! I can't remember the last time I went camping....once again, any takers?

Five years away means a lot to catch up on!

blah blah blah

packing, yet again. cranky check-in people. removing liquids and computer, shoes and jacket, cell phone and accessories. long lines. long waits. delayed flights? noisy neighbors. crying babies. i won't even describe the food.

as you can tell, i'm more than ready to be home......in one place. not packing. not unpacking. not repacking. no packing....at least for three weeks. i'm usually excited about being in transit, especially alone. i meet more people and am focused on what's going on around me. however, i'm so relieved to be travelling with family. these past few years have become less about where i go and more about who i go with.

my solo flight out of egypt was probably one of the worst i've had this far. even worse than the huge turbulance and 1,000 foot drop our plane took in elevation enroute to europe and then to kenya.

i think it comes down to this: i'm ready to be back with my family. single in the city no longer appeals to me. it did at one point. it was great. i loved it. perhaps this is a result of living in egypt. perhaps it's just the timing. either way, i may be the only almost 23 year old in america who is genuinely excited to move home after living away for five years.

and, to everyone inquiring as to "how long i'll be around this time," we'll see.

family fun

looks like there's more to my family than i've ever realized. i suppose there are somethings worth mentioning, somethings unmentionable, and other things........i just can't keep quiet:

for instance, i'm related to hillbillies....you know, the people who may be crass, rough around the edges but ridiculously hilarious (or maybe that's a family thing!). i may never visit them up the crick, but they will most definitely be at my wedding....especially because i can trust that they'll respect the BYOB as they did this past weekend ;) good times.

then there's my uncle living in florida who is a very talented craftsmen - you want it, he'll build it. he showed me some of the projects he's worked on.......and now i'm looking at extending my trip on the east coast so i can spend some time learning from him.

then there's that guy....the epitome of a goofball. hilarious. and yet, under all of that, an astronomical AND aeuronautical engineer working for boeing who helped design and test the latest raptor, F22 for the US gov......

i must mention my aunty and uncle who own about 10 snakes, three dogs, guinea pigs, and recently got rid of their ferrets (sad!)......they also own an arsenal of medieval tools, weapons, costumes, etc....

well, that's a BRIEF synopsis of my mom's family......seriously, love these people......and now, off to hawaii........ikeda clan, here i come! finally...

looks like we've got a lot to do...

let's get on it:

The job of the peacemaker is to stop war, to purify the world, to get it saved from poverty and riches, to heal the sick, to comfort the sad, to wake up those who have not yet found God, to create joy and beauty wherever you go, to find God in everything and in everyone.- Muriel Lester(1884-1968)

farewell, for now.

my exodus from egypt nears. saying goodbye isn't usually difficult because i'm pretty good at keeping in touch with people, even across continents and oceans. however, i feel like i'm leaving a job after the first year. in general, the second year is better than the first because you know what you're doing, you know your coworkers, etc.

but things happen the way they do for a reason. one year ago, there's no way i would've made a two year, overseas commitment (or of any sort, really). anyway, these last few days have been fun and fulfilling:

bowling, ice skating, snorkling in the red sea, going to the circus, and just enjoying my time with the people who have become my extended, egyptian family.

well, as usual, articulation and jet-lag preparation don't mix well. it's 4:30am. in a few hours, i will fall asleep sitting straight up on my direct flight to new york. and so, i will have exited egypt.

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." - Jim Elliot

and now, my friends, from egypt i part to be where i'm now headed.

T Minus 10 Days

And so, the beginning of the end has arrived:


1. Clean my flat
2. Eat all the food still in the kitchen
3. Spend a few days relaxing on the shores of the Red Sea
4. Write and send final postcards
5. Pack my bags
6. Eat a lot of Egyptian food
7. Find someone to print my boarding pass
8. Buy a cheap cell phone
9. Convince the McDonald's motorcycle delivery boy to give me a ride around town
10. Eat more Egyptian food
11. Update music playlists
12. Get to the "I can't put it down" stage of reading Les Mis.
13. Start one more dodgeball or popcorn fight with Lianne

What's to come:

one-nighter in New York

two weeks in Seattle (live jazz - chopsticks?, cheesecake, thai food, the pink door, aladdin's falafels, storage unit exorcism, visit The House, convince tiana and justin to move to hawaii, triangle cabin, mt. si, cousin's wedding, etc.)

three weeks in Hawaii (show ruth and maegan my island, hang out with the brothers before they're redeployed to the M.East, thank all of my friends and family with a huge "Egyptian" feast)

vacation with grandparents (going on a train trip from washington up into canada)

three weeks in Georgia and DC (one week of hanging out with old and new friends and a one week conference)

by the end of september, i'll be homeward bound.

belgium

known for its beer and chocolate...two things which we haven't tasted in our first few hours here.

however, our appetites are quite full from an afternoon of speed-walking through a nearby college town with one peurto rican, nine mexicans, three egyptians, one canadian (lianne), and two americans (me and a lady who lives in mexico). none of us speak dutch, or german, or french, or anything else (besides english) that could be helpful.

aside from the entertaining diversity (entertaining is an understatement....the fun and frustrations that come with such diversity only make a "stroll" through a foreign city much more enjoyable and exciting) of our group, i must admit that the two white-haired, 60 something year old, twin ladies walking around (matching clothes, shoes, and bags) were a highlight...seriously.

then there was the lovely moment i slipped into my jacket. it's not cold, but compared to cairo, it's a bit chilly. lianne and i went for a little stroll through a local park, sat and listened to the trees....a sound that i often miss living in the craziness of cairo.

i wish i had taken more time to learn spanish. it never seemed exciting enough for me in high school. however, now that my excitment involves knowing people and doing things with people, language acquisition is a bit higher if i continue with these international adventures. my limited recollections from afternoons with aunty martina and cote helped me find some common ground.........but honestly, it was ultimately mer. shwartsenager who came to my rescue.....believe it, i totally said it. and, i'll say it again:

asta la vista, baby!

all my bags are packed

i'm just about ready to go.

in one month minus two days, i'll be exiting egypt until the next time an opportunity comes along for me to return.

until then, i'm off to belgium for two weeks!

Lianne, Lianne, Lianne...what more need I say?

Why in the world do people (Lianne and I included) take all the clothespins off of the clothes line and put them in a basket so we can take them out of the basket and put them right back onto the line when the next load of laundry is ready to be dried? Seriously!?!

So, in my effort to eliminate a completely unnecessary and often tedious (although minute) task from the already strenuous demands of washing laundry, I suggest that we leave the clothespins on the line and simply clip the clothes to the line with the awaiting clothespin! Brilliant, I know.

With a roll of the eyes and an annoyingly entertaining tone, Lianne shares her thought about my ingenious: "You are SOOOOO lazy!"

LAZY? Wow, Lianne. No need to get personal, jeez! Being the humble, mature, twenty-two year old American living with a Canadian, I respond calmly, yet passionately, of course:

"LAZY?!?! It's people like me who invent microwaves and other conveniences that you Canadians enjoy!"

Pause.

Loud laughter.

Laundry folded....clothespins still on the line....until Lianne dries her laundry, that is. That's right...and after she finishes her laundry, I'll be the one taking all the pins out of the silly basket and clipping them back onto the line. Lazy? Ha!

Ten minutes later, Lianne invites herself to join me in the bathroom as I brush my teeth, wash my face, etc. By inviting herself, I really mean to say that she monopolizes the sink. Being the humble, mature, twenty-two year old American, I patiently brush my teeth to the side of the sink where I can no longer watch myself in the mirror (even after brushing my teeth approximately fourteen thousand and six hundred times before this occasion, I still find my self staring at the strokes of the brush....why do we do this? You know I'm not the only one :)

It's funny what we notice when we step to the side and stop looking in the mirror. For example, whenever I enter the bathroom, I can always tell if Lianne's already been in there or not. If she has, then I am guaranteed a free feet cleaning as the bathroom floor is covered in water.

Stepped aside, no longer looking at myself in the mirror but at Lianne in front of the sink and mirror, I notice that her face washing technique is like a fountain desperately trying to water a withering garden....minus the garden and add a few water-wrinkled feet, we have our bathroom floor after Lianne has washed her face.

I laugh, for obvious reasons. Without saying a word, she knows the reason I laugh and explains (rather defensively, I might add :) that if she brings her elbows closer to her body, there would be no Old Faithful; however, she informs me, bringing her elbows closer to her body takes a lot of effort, in fact, too much effort.

Whoa. Rewind:

With a roll of the eyes and an annoyingly entertaining tone, Lianne shares her thought about my ingenious: "You are SOOOOO lazy!"

And so, ten minutes of laughter, clean faces, clothespins on the line, water on the bathroom floor, I finish brushing my teeth, in front of the sink, looking in the mirror....for approximately the fourteenth thousand, six hundred and first time.


I don't really brush my teeth for ten minutes......but my wisdom teeth are poking through my gums and the brushingbrings momentary relief from this post-adolescent, teething process. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a basket to hide (there's always a way to ensure that others accept our genius ;)

A few more pictures

Here is a link to a few pictures from the past two weeks of traveling....

It's taking FOREVER to upload photos (almost 10mins for ONE picture!)....

So, my generous roommate uploaded my pictures onto her page with her newer, shinier, and faster computer.....

ENJOY!

Floating down the Nile and playing with many, many, many Egyptian kiddos!

p.s. Links to older albums can be found in the upper right corner of this page.

of a bus, a boat, and a brouch.

My eyes closed, seabreeze flies freely through my hair, songs spill from my lips.

The engine roars; the smell of diesel, gone with the wind.

We cut through the swells.

I hold on tightly to the shoulders in front of me.

Open. The wind flings back my eye lids, flattens my cheeks, dries my lips.

I take a deep breath through my nose. I look.

Grandpa, preparing the next lure.

Jared, checking the lines in eager anticipation.

Chris, asleep in the sun.

Dad, Captain Dad, steering us toward dinner.

I smile and continue my song. The song echoes. The engine roars. The diesel smells. The wind blows. The boat rocks.

Open. No more salty seabreeze flying through my hair or swells to rock the boat. Just a roaring engine, smelly deisel, and an echoing ipod.



At one point, maybe twelve years ago, sitting in the back of the bus reflected social achievement: coolness being the epitome. Today, there was nothing cool about the back of the bus. For a few moments, I escaped from the nauseous engine gases and found myself sitting on the captain's chair of our deep sea fishing boat, fifteen years ago, singing my song, smiling at my Dad as he looked over his shoulder at me, smiling at me as if I had the most beautiful voice ever. I sang louder.



Just moments before, as the bus engine started, I realized our trip from Suez Canal back to Cairo was going to be uncomfortable, to say the least. Now, I love life. I love to share life with people (which is why I'm sitting here.....telling you about my ever exciting journey from Suez Canal). I share my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas; to know others and to be known, I believe, is a priceless gift that we've been given......So, in these first few moments on our bus ride home, I felt the need to share my frustrations...



Luckily for Lianne, my typical grouchiness in regards to minute frustrations such as sitting at the back of the bus is expressed in bratty-playfullness. We'll call this mood: brouch (brilliant, I know! You put brat and grouch together and there you have it!). Brouchiness is usually the result of frustrating situations that are rather silly and don't deserve full-blown grouchiness (argueably never deserved...anyway). Br0uchiness usually reflects my unique ability to cope with such situations. In this case, I needed to escape the nasueating smells and ear-gnawing engine noises.



Brouchiness inspired:



Needless to say, the sweater over the nose helped me escape the smells; although, not even sitting at the very back of the bus helped me escape odd looks from the "front-of-the-bus" passengers.

All that to say: Dad, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE fix the boat!

floating down the nile

lianne and i are back from our nile adventures. we leave on saturday for another week for some more excitement. we have about four more trips this summer...and then, i'm off to new york, then seattle, and finally home!

when i get a chance, i will post pictures from this past week. we visited quite a few more temples, ancient egypt style....wore big hats and big sunglasses (it was very hot)...ate a lot of food...held little crocs, poked bigger ones, slept on mud brick roofs, rode camels, swam in the beautiful nile of southern egypt (unlike the not-so-beautiful nile here in cairo), relaxed on faluchas (mini-barge/sailboat/egyptian style boat things), walked through a botanical garden (similar to the ones in hawaii, actually.....minus the sandy desert in the background), ate more food, and relaxed, relaxed, relaxed......

and now, i'm paying the consequences of eating a lot...WITHOUT washing my hands consistently....not a good idea. further details, unnecessary.

"empathy at a distance" the plight of the electronic nomad

"The forms of our media, regardless of their content, have the power to shape our minds and our messages."

Taken from "Our Nomadic Existence: How Electronic Culture Shapes Community" by Shane Hipps.

Hipps looks at Marshall McLuhan who argued that the message and medium are connected (more specifically that the medium is the message), contradicting the popularly accepted belief that it's not the method of getting the message (the medium) across that's important, it's the message itself. In church, it's said something like this:
“The methods change, but the message stays the same.”

Hipps looks at media and, as McLuhan did, poses questions rather than articulating answers about technologies affects on communities and individuals.....if you want to read the full article, let me know and i'll email it to you!

The effect is a paradoxical one. Electronic culture does opposite things at
the same time. If oral culture is tribal, and literate culture is individual,
then the phenomenon of the electronic age is marked by what I call the
tribe of individuals. We live in a confused state of being characterized
by a deep and growing desire for connection and community and the
ever-increasing experience of an electronic nomad. It’s the isolating
and thin existence of electronically wandering the globe, glancing off
one another, but never really connecting or encountering the other.

The paradoxes go on. If oral culture is empathic, and literate culture is
distant, the electronic age is marked by empathy at a distance. This is
a condition that emerges when our TVs and computer screens flood our
living rooms with images of planetary suffering: from September 11 to
the Tsunami to Darfur to all the other ongoing famine, genocide, wars,
and starvation in the world. While this allows us the opportunity to
extend compassion to these far-off places, it actually has the opposite
affect. There is an immediate outpouring of support followed by a
detached, clinical numbness.

The end result is apathy and inaction. This is not our fault; it’s not
because we are bad people. The human psyche isn’t designed to
withstand all the weight and trauma of global suffering without shutting
down. Numbness and exhaustion are natural reactions. This experience
of horror and empathy, followed by shutting down and feelings of
helplessness, is the condition of empathy at a distance. And it didn’t
exist prior to the electronic age. The reason this matters is that the
spiritual habit of empathy at a distance also finds its way into our local
communities. It becomes increasingly difficult to muster local activism
and genuine concern for others when global suffering has already
cauterized the nerves of compassion.

Shane Hipps is lead pastor of Trinity Mennonite Church – a missional, urban, Anabaptist congregation in Phoenix, Arizona. Before accepting a call as pastor, he was a strategic planner in
advertising where he worked on a multimillion dollar communications plan for Porsche. It was here that he gained his expertise in understanding media and culture. Shane is a sought after speaker, host of the “Third-Way Faith” podcast
on Leadershipbuzz.com and author of
The Hidden Power of Electronic Culture:
How Media Shapes Faith, the Gospel
and Church.

Check out: Fermi Project

Closing thought:

"Science today has given us improved means to attain some of our damnable ends. That's not true of all science, that's not true of all of the means so do not take that as an extreme; but it is true that some of our technologies have made us more sophisticated in our evil.
Ravi Zacharias

living with lianne

typical day unfolds:

5:55am - Janean wakes up
5:56 - Janean turns on the water pump and takes a shower
6:02ish - Lianne rolls out of bed, sits on the couch, eats toast, yogurt, and fruit.....half asleep
6:15ish - Janean finishes shower, puts clothes on, walks into living room...Lianne still half asleep
4:53pmish - Lianne can't correctly annunciate the Arabic word for "arrange"..but is convinced she's saying it right. but she's not. Janean and Arabic teacher laugh because instead of "btizboty" she's saying "btizbooty."
4:57ish - Lianne is still convinced she's saying it right and is now arguing that i'm saying it wrong. Which, at the time, I wasn't.
4:59ish - My turn comes.....and of course, I say it wrong. We all laugh.
9:10ish - Lianne and I enter the store to buy phone credit. I say, "Oh, look, they're showing Castaway on the T.V." Lianne argues, "That's not Castaway....that's...I forget what she said...some other movie..." I argue back, "No it's not!" And then this weird music starts playing and the guy yells, "YELLLLAAA!!!" It was a commericial for Mobinil or some mobile phone company! We were both wrong......we both laughed.

Sometimes I wonder if living with Lianne is a glimpse of having a younger sister or having a husband!!! Not that she's manly (or I, for that matter :) ......I've had a few roommates, but living with Lianne is like an ongoing comedy. She's so playful and.......young and lively...with stupid jokes and when we poke fun at each other, I'm the dry, sarcastic, witty humor, and she's like "Yeah....well......you're STUPID!" "Ouch, Lianne...that really hurts. Did you think of that on your own..." and this is how it goes. Both smiling and laughing at how silly we are......Lianne with her crazy ideas and me with my "old, tainted, grandma ways" as she would say.

Living with Lianne is a lot of fun. We're both usually really busy and tired. So our idea of fun is dodgeball in the house (sorry Taunt, our landlady), roasting marshmellows with candles, bonfires on our deck, popcorn fights, dough darts in the kitchen, gingerbread houses in February, talking about randomness, and all in all, just living our lives together.

I had no expectations of who I'd meet when I moved to Cairo. Living with Lianne, though, has definitely been one of my highlights.....the majority of my memories have her somewhere in the picture...whether she's making sand angels in every desert we travel to, trying to convince me that it would be funny to throw things at people as we drive by them on the street, throwing food on the walls, making odd noises at the wrong moments, or whatever else she does to make me roll my eyes and chuckle......our age difference (four years) brings us together rather than keeping us apart.

i will never forget "that one time i lived with lianne"! :)

i love you roommate, teammate, classmate, sister, friend....accomplice ;)

P.S. and it was Obama who called that reporter "sweetie".....not OSAMA! :)

two suitcases and five agains

after a few weeks of mentally processing all of my belongings, going through what i have, what's important, what i want to take, what i want to leave, etc. etc. etc. etc. etcccccc..........

i finally packed my bags. i just got up, went through everything:

everything i want to take with me- on the bed
everything i'm leaving here- on the big pile under my window
everything that i'd like to take but don't mind leaving- between the bed and the two suitcases

don't get me wrong. i will, at some point, unpack these bags and refill my now empty closest. afterall, i still have about three months left.....besides that, i'm going to need at least one of the suitcases in less than two weeks since i'll be traveling again. then after that, i'll travel again. then again. then again...and then again...(that should be five "agains") and finally, i'll begin my adventure home...which is going to be a two week adventure.

amidst the packing, i'm reminded of how easily i become attatched to things. when i pick up certain things, i see the face of the person handing it to me. i remember the laughing....i hear the jokes. i think of the bad days that we went through. usually, these memories make me happy....but lately, they just remind me of how short our time together has been.

our lives are so short. there are a lot of sad, painful circumstances. there's so much sufferring. may we remember to be just the tiniest reflection of hope. the simplist reminder of joy. each person we meet is telling a story...a story full of many, many things -- things that have made him/her laugh, cry, sick, sad, furious, gleaming, hopeful, lonely....so many things. but under all of these things...no, through all of these things, we are.

we are here. we are here now. may today, through whatever things you're going through, you look at someone and see through his/her irritating habbits. look beyond his/her shortcomings. may you look at someone and see him/her as a person. just as s/he is. just as we are.

and may, by the grace of God, you love him/her as s/he was created to be.

close your eyes...and walk.

i'll be walking on a sidewalk and get a random urge to close my eyes and continue walking. i have no idea why. do i do it? well.....in spurts. close my eyes. walk. peek. close my eyes....weird, i know.

besides little bites from tiny, black ants, things here continue to be busy and exciting. two weekends ago lianne and i went with one of the teachers from my school to her church, St. John, to celebrate Palm Sunday (last weekend was the Egyptian Easter). she's coptic (the oldest, existing church). we slept in and ALMOST missed this wonderful opportunity.

last weekend, we spent three days travelling through the western desert. we slept under the stars, swam in springs, visited the white desert, black desert, crystal mountain, english mountain...it was non-stop adventure. needless to say, we came back sun-kissed and glowing!

in other exciting news, our landlady finally took care of our broken toilet seat. eight months of roller coaster toilet rides and we're back to normal. exciting stuff, i know.

other than that, just praying about my post-egypt plans. my life feels like dot-art. all these littlte, colorful dots all over the canvas....at some point, i'll see the bigger picture, until then....i'm just living, one dot at a time.

ps. i dropped my external hard drive, which houses all of my music and more importantly ALL of my pictures from this year! :( i hope it's fixable.......there is some serious tragedy potential.

flour power

i bought my ticket to go home.....actually, mom and dad bought my ticket. yes, in october, i'll be 23 and my parents are still buying my airplane tickets. I'll reimburse them...with a year or two of my presence in their house, that is. after 5 years of "gallivanting the globe," i'm moving home. i'm not passing through, stopping by, i'm MOVING in! i may even buy a piece of furniture or use that dresser that has been janean-less for quite some time.



as i look at my itinerary, many thoughts flood my mind. the people i'll be leaving, the people i'll be re-connecting with, my family, my grandparents, registering for classes.....the food i'll get to eat........the food i won't get to eat. i won't be able to buy freshly baked pitas (aysh baladi) right around the corner from my flat. so, i decided i'd learn to make pitas.



on second thought, a trip to the store for a packet of yeast isn't worth it....plus, i'm still here and should enjoy the pitas i have and when i return home, i'll learn to make pitas......AND since we haven't seen any tortillas at the store lately and just finished our last pack, and i have all the ingredients, i'll make my first batch of homemade flour tortillas.



mid-roll through my second tortilla, lianne comes home and decides to enjoy in the dough-rolling excitement. it's a good thing we didn't dump that empty glass jar of peanut butter so both of us can roll at the same time. yes, we use our peanut butter jars to roll dough.



copious amounts of tortillas piled high, lianne decides she's had enough and finds another use for the dough:





janean joins in:





and this is what you get:





and this:



ok, pictures aren't working....but imagine a game of darts minus the darts....with some leftover dough!

Life in a Box

Yesterday, I made my first, homemade, without a recipe cake. Since moving to Egypt, I've learned to be a bit more resourceful in the kitchen.

Instead of stirring pancake mix and water, I mix flour, baking powder, eggs, milk, and some water.
Instead of mixing a box of pudding mix with milk, I mix flour, eggs, milk, and whatever else enhances the flavor.

I can buy just about anything conveniently packaged with "Just add Water" bodly printed across the top. And if I'm lucky, I save 50% with my Safeway card! Pancakes, bread, pudding, cake, cookies, waffles, crusts, etc. The list goes on. Everything comes in a box!

Sometimes, I feel like I'm strolling down the aisle of life looking for the "pre-packaged-just-add-water" boxes of education, entertainment, family, friends, church, (God?).... Life isn't ever handed to us in a box. I can't make a good custard out of cake mix, or pancakes out of cookie dough, or pudding out of pancake mix; yet, all of these require the same basic ingredients!

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.....I was just thinking and typing...and eating a piece of cake made at home and without a recipe! Recipes are good for obvious reasons....but improvising is like living in a foreign country -- eventually you feel more at home, but only if you get out and get to know where you're living! Improvising is becoming easier.....and tastier!

unspeakable

Imagine fleeing your home, foreced to find shelter in another country, another land, another life. In most cases, refugees are not allowed to work or have access to medical and education services in the country they reside. Due to ethnic, cultural, religious, and historical differences, refugees are rarely, if ever, assimilated or accepted by the host culture. This isn't always a reflection of the people but of politics and economics.

In six days, the following blog will be exactly 1 year old. I posted it on Myspace and now, with tears in my eyes, I share it with you. As I typed from Seattle one year ago, I now type from Cairo: my heart still saddened, tears in my eyes.

11 April 2006

There's not much to say:

Sudanese refugees receive treatment for malnutrition in a hospital in Chad.

The flight from Sudan to Chad took a physical toll on the refugees, particularly on the sick, infants, and the elderly. Some traveled more than a month to reach Chad.

Sudanese refugees rest before continuing their journey to safety in Chad.

A body left unburied outside Jijira Adi Abbe in Darfur, western Sudan, after a government attack.

The body of a teenage boy lies among others outside the African village of Jijira Adi Abbe in Darfur, western Sudan. Bodies left unburied send a message to villagers elsewhere not to resist.

Mass graves encircle the village of Jijira Adi Abbe in Darfur, western Sudan after the government attack

Some of those wounded in attacks by Arab militias in October and November 2006 seek treatment in a hospital in nearby Goz Beida. Many are suffering from gunshot wounds.

A wounded woman is led to shelter. Chadian militia groups have attacked dozens of villages in southeastern Chad in November 2006, killing several hundred civilians, injuring scores more and driving at least 10,000 people from their homes.

The effects of indiscriminate aerial bombardment by the Sudanese government on Chadian and Sudanese villages along the north-west stretch of the border. Bombs were dropped in October 2006 around several villages on both sides of the border and on essential water sources, although there was little or no rebel presence in the area

Bahai is a desert town in Chad on the border with North Darfur, Sudan. The town is a major base for Sudanese rebels fighting the government in Khartoum. Soldiers of the National Redemption Front rebel coalition are mounting a Katyusha rocket launcher on the back of a pick-up truck.

Sudanese refugees live in makeshift shelters in the desert outside Birak, on Chad's border with Sudan. They fled the recent attacks by Sudanese militias in Jebel Moon, West Darfur, Sudan. Dozens of children were killed in the attacks on several villages and a camp for internally displaced persons in late October 2006.

Djorlo in eastern Chad was attacked by Chadian Arab militia on November 8, 2006. The militia burned huts and destroyed harvest storage areas. The village of Damri, attacked on November 12, can be seen burning in the background.


For interactive information including pictures, stories, videos, and the numbers of damaged/destroyed villages, internally displaced persons (idp), and sudanese refugees, check out the product of google earth's collaboration with the united states holocoust memorial museum in dc.

Check out these videos:
1. SMALLEST WITNESSES: THE CRISIS IN DARFUR THROUGH CHILDREN'S EYES

2. WITNESSING DARFUR: RESOURCES AND VIDEO

For more information on what's going on, check out Human Rights Watch. Click on "Africa" and search for "Darfur In Crisis" on the right side of the page.

Also: The Worldpress

This Side of the Nile

For more pictures: This Side of the Nile

africa live

today i went to a sudanese school here in cairo. the girls braided my hair, the boys played basketball, they sung songs, we played english word games..........amidst all of this, i remembered that i live in egypt........

since 2001 when i spent some time in kenya, africa holds a special place in my heart and today, that place grew a little larger, it sang a little louder, and danced that much longer. today, i remembered:

africa lives in me.

i've been travelling this week and am excited to share some of those experiences. perhaps when all the current fun finishes, i'll post some pictures!

party.....without the people.

i'm not sure what gets into me.....one minute, i'm making miniature bags out of cool fabric coasters i bought today and then the next minute: custard (yes, MORE custard!) in the oven, keish waiting for it's turn in the oven, and "rooz belaban" (similar to rice pudding) cooling in the fridge.

one liter of milk, gone.
six eggs used: three in the keish, two in the custard, one on the floor.
a bunch of other stuff.

there's a few bananas perfect for banana bread......but i think i'll resist since the keish hasn't even started it's turn in the oven. i'm not even sure i like keish.

i miss entertaining guests. this causes me to think about all my options when i return home:

weekly craft nights with copious amounts of custards - caramel custard one week, toffee the next
since i now drink teas besides green tea, i can have friends over for tea and.....keish? rice pudding?

you see where i'm going with this? my options are endless........i can feed many, many people. that's the point, there's people to feed, guests to entertain. but it's different here. everyone has a family. everyone has this and that......i'm always being hosted and, because i'm a single female, don't have many opportunities to host.

a cup of tea, a bowl of custard, piece of keish, scoop of rice pudding, a miniature bag made out of coasters, srawberry jam, salsa, kettle corn, sugar cookies, lemonade, and perhaps even a slice of banana bread......

bon appetite, roommate!

summer in the city.....

ClearWind: S at 19 km/hHumidity: 14%

Sun 39°C 21°C
Mon 38°C 12°C
Tue 27°C 8°C
Wed 23°C 9°C


Sun 103°F 70°F
Mon 102°F 54°F
Tue 82°F 47°F
Wed 74°F 49°F

I am

so

BLESSED!

and completely, inexpressably

GRATEFUL!

My family and friends put the BIGGEST

S M I L E

on my face............and inspire

JOY

in my heart!

THANK YOU!!!

early buses, baked custards, big discisions

This morning I made custard.

These past two weeks at school have been so enjoyable. I started art classes for the younger students and, each morning, I look forward to working with them and with the teachers.

The ladies in my office are like my family, but since a few teachers quit, we've become more than a family but also a team. We work together as we enjoy each other's company. At night, I look forward to going to sleep by 10:30 to wake up excited and ready for a full day.

This morning, I made custard. I'm still not entirely sure why. While talking to a friend about pending decisions, I thought custard seemed like a good idea at the moment and a tasty treat for later (even though I've already eaten my half).

As many of you know, I always have ideas bouncing around like there's a trampoline in my head (or a bouncy castle...); either way, my life constantly feels like it can go in various directions at the same time. Usually this is good because it keeps me learning, motivated, and excited about life, but on the rare occasion that I want to focus or pursue a specific dream, I find myself unsatisfied with the notion of channelling my interest into one direction as if having to simultaneously sacrifice other dreams.

Perhaps some people are made to focus their attention, and others are made to constantly expand their horizons while expanding the horizons of those around them. Perhaps this is me. Or, perhaps I'm just as my aunty recently noticed: "Janean, you're really not headed in all sorts of directions, all of your interests focus on one goal -- to serve the whole person. You're not just concerned with a person's education, but with his/her physical and spiritual well-being. You care about the whole person and all your interests reflect this."

As the words came out of her mouth, it all made sense. Pursing one aspect of this goal isn't taking me away from other interests but better equipping me to be of service to people in various capacities. I feel like I've known this for so long; like I didn't know that I know, but I knew. You know? :)

I have some pretty big decisions ahead of me and am excited to see where they lead. I've never been the type to freak out or feel burdened by such decisions but pray for wisdom. When the decisions are made, you will know.

Many Blessings,
Janean

In no time at all: "JUST a second"

from: http://discovermagazine.com/2007/jun/in-no-time

No one keeps track of time better than Ferenc Krausz. In his lab at the Max Planck Institute of Quantum Optics in Garching, Germany, he has clocked the shortest time intervals ever observed. Krausz uses ultraviolet laser pulses to track the absurdly brief quantum leaps of electrons within atoms. The events he probes last for about 100 attoseconds, or 100 quintillionths of a second. For a little perspective, 100 attoseconds is to one second as a second is to 300 million years.

El Hahm Du Lah Leh!

EVERYTHING has been returned!!!

sheihk it up!

Update: A sheihk found my wallet in a mosque. He called the only number he could find in my wallet -- a local tour guide. She called my director who called me. We'll meet him on Saturday.

He said he will give only me the wallet since "there's money inside and other precious things." Perhaps everything is in there, perhaps not. Either way, God is faithful, and I have the BEST FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!!

Stay tuned for more details :)

there's always a story....

i love stories. i enjoy hearing stories and telling stories..........there's always a story.

but today, no story. just the details:

FACT: My wallet went MIA somewhere between the backseat of a taxi on Sherda Hegez and my flat.

FACT: My passport and ALL my money were (are?) snuggly tucked in my wallet.

FACT: On my way to apply for a new passport, the Metro Station worker threatened to bring me to the police (like I said, there's always a story).

FACT: I am so blessed! My friends and family are more than I could ask for! THANK YOU for everything.......you know who you are. I cannot clearly articulate my appreciation (even if I mastered the art of emoticons :)


There are moments when I want to go out on my balcony and inform my whole neighborhood of my presence (Maybe a sweet seranade or a simple, loud YELL!).....

It'd go something like this:

itsfunnyhowthoughtsjumbleinandoverlapintowhatseemstobeanneverendingprocess:livereflectlearnlivereflectlearn.thelivinghasn'tstoppedneitherhasthereflectionandneitherwillthelearning.itjustkeepsgoingandgoingandgoin.sometimesalittlebreakwouldbenice.butonthebrightsideihavewonderfulfriendsandfamily.ourinterdependence(currentlymydependenceonthem)issoencouragingandincredibleandwithanupdatedpassportpictureiwonthaveanymoreproblemsatpassportcontrol!

Okay, so maybe it's more like a rap, but there you have it...that's the "song" I'd graciously seranade my neighborhood with in a sorta yell rap. At this point, all I can do is laugh. The situation isn't the most humorous, but there's only so much I can do -- laughing and moving on is one of them.

I really am grateful for all the encouraging emails many of you have sent throughout these past months!

Around the aisles

With a free afternoon, some hit the beach, others wash laundry, snowboard, hunt, watch movies, play video/computer games, facebook/myspace, and whatever other entertainment suits each.

What a person does with his/her "free" time is quite interesting. For example, this past weekend, I toiled into the wee hours of the morning to make a few necklaces and bracelets, wash laundry, and sort through a growing pile of papers. Today, I headed straight for one of the largest consumer-convenient stores in the area for an afternoon of grocery shopping (don't worry, Walmart; Spinnies' got nothing on you!):

Mental shopping list -- check.
Money -- check.
Comfortable shoes -- check.

Up one aisle, down the next. When I'm not exhausted, hungry, and in a rush, I enjoy perusing the various aisles at the grocery market. Baking goods, canned foods, pastas, rice, candy, snacks, juice, soda, chipsies, condiments, dairy, produce, bakery goods, seafood, poultry. There's so much to look at! So many ideas race through my head:

Customers should be allowed to throw all expired food at
impatiently-rude-run-me-over-with-their-cart customers.

I can make Mexican refried beans for 6 L.E. cheaper if I use Egyptian
beans (fava)....but would they still be Mexican?

Strawberries are on sale, I'll make jam.

Chinese parsley and cilantro are the same thing, but parsley and Chinese parsley aren't. Coriander smells more like cilantro than parsley.....is coriander related to Chinese parsley?

"SOY MILK!!! SOOOOOY MILLLKKK!" as I pick up my first carton of soy milk this
side of the Nile!

I don't understand a word you're saying Mr. Aisle Attendant Man, and even if you keep talking, I still will NOT buy the expired eggs no matter how good the
prices

All these thoughts eventually come to an end as I finally roll up to the cashier.....excitement subsiding as I remember that all these adventures around the aisles come at a price.

Two hours later, a jar full of home-made salsa (with coriander instead of cilantro or parsley) and a jar full of home-made strawberry jam in the fridge, a small pot of pinto beans (soon to be Mexican refried beans) on the stove, a glass full of soy milk on the counter, and yes, expired eggs in their carton, the price of a not-so-FREE afternoon strolling through the aisles of the grocery store are well worth the price........my wallet and waist size agree ;)

Secret Love Notes

The lyrics to a song I've never heard race through my mind. But they don't stop there.

I feel the words run through my body, their meaning saturating my life. Here I sit, cup in hand, behind the snack shop at my school. Students finally in class, the campus quiets. Winter brings chilled halls and freezing offices making usual chit-chat with the teachers a bit difficult in the cold, early mornings.

Out here, the sunshine brings an escape from the cold, generously giving my body a break.

Here I sit, cup in hand, behind the snack shop. The lyrics to a song I've never heard race through my mind.

More than words, they come to life -- my life.

As the sunshine warms my face, my world -- the one I live in, the one I left at home, the one I've created in my dreams, all of it -- comes to life. I am unimaginably blessed. With my eyes closed, I hear the world around me: I hear birds, wind, friends, voices of family in Hawaii, friends in Seattle, the beach, the lake, I hear laughter. I hear.

To know no other sunshine, than the sunshine
of your face...

Content to let the world go by,

To know no gain or loss.

My sinful self my only shame

My glory all the Cross.

-Beneath the Cross of Christ

I don't live on the moon and let the world pass by in front of me. I live here and now. I live.

As I look around (in front of me is a barren field, behind me is an unpaved road, to my right is an unfinished building, and to my left is a dusty courtyard) I see life. In this barren field? Unpaved road? Where?

There are times when His words seem to find their grave in the Bible. As if it doesn't exist or take life until we read, meditate, and reflect. His Word existed before the Book was compiled and will continue to exist long after the pages wither. This in no way is meant to depreciate the Bible. We live in the world created by His Word -- His words surround us. His words dwell within us -- written on our hearts.

Open your eyes.

I love these moments when I realize that He's always here, always revealing His love like secrets...secret love notes waiting to be found.

Except, NOT so secretive at all!

Are we looking?

Let's open our eyes to more fully see what He's already revealed.

The lyrics to a song I still haven't heard become more than words, they become life -- my life.

Not always an easy place to be......but I can't tell you anywhere else I'd rather find myself:

"beneath the Cross of Christ."

Playing in the Sandbox

Recently, I re-discovered that I am still very young and have many, many opportunities ahead of me. I said, "The world is my playground, and I haven't even left the swings." However, taking a quick glance around, I have obviously left the swings and found the sandbox!

"The world is my playground: I've left the swings and found the sandbox"

During my recent travels home, I met quite a few random people, which is inevitable for a person too curious not to talk to the person next to me. I will introduce you to two.

Person #1:

I can't remember her name (I wrote it down along with her email but am too lazy to get it at this moment), but after walking around Amsterdam Central for awhile, I returned to the airport and met Person #1. Five of us began chit-chatting -- all of us returning to the states from East and North Africa. However, person #1 and I talked for quite a while as she told me that she was visiting her friend in Uganda who recently started "Wrap Up Africa," an organization teaching moms of children in-patients at local hospitals to sew skirts, which are to be sold in the states, in order to provide funding to feed the in-patients (especially cancer patients) who are fed only when their families can afford to buy food (along with hospital bills) and bring it to their child. I bought a skirt. In fact, I am the first to buy a skirt from Wrap Up Africa. If anything, I will remember these children and this lady. As I find out more information, I will be sure to post it -- causes led by women who are helping other women are such an inspiration!

Person #2:

Hand out the window, fingers tapping to the beat on the steering wheel, and yes, the wind blowing my hair. I began my last day at home running errands. Instead of braving the traffic on the freeway, I decided to enjoy the backroads. Starting in Kalihi going up the ridges, into the valleys, and down into Nuuanu valley, the beauty of the island and culture left me enjoying the simplicity of the moment -- not trying to soak it all in, not trying to make the most of it, not trying....just being.

The night before, I planned to sneak out to one of my favorite spots after everyone went to sleep. However, as the time neared, I fell asleep. Now on the road, I realized that I don't have to fit in all of my favorite places, foods, people, etc, during my few days in paradise. I will return. This week gave me something to look forward to when I return. I will return. In the meanwhile, I have an adventure to continue abroad.

Anyway, I bought what I needed at Walmart (I enjoyed my moments of being THAT consumer who loves strolling down the aisles of Walmart -- love me, hate me, judge me! :), and Macys is next on my list. What? I don't need anything from Macys! Sure, they have sweet sales on clothes, but I don't need anymore clothes. These thoughts continued to run through my mind as I pulled out of the Walmart parking lot, down Keeamoku St. and into Ala Moana Shopping center. Due to construction, I parked on the opposite end of Macys and so, I began my trek across the mall to Macys, still wondering why I'm going there.

You need to know something about me: I really am not a fan of malls. My senses become overloaded way too fast. But here I am, my last day at home, in a mall, on my way to Macys for no apparent reason. Glancing around at the different kiosks, I get a whif of glue, craft glue. I keep on walking until I do a double-take on the kiosk I just walked past where, of course, the smell of modge podge gluey stuff is coming from. Ok, I'm not going to describe these bags, just check it out: http://encorebags.homestead.com/products.html

Essentially, Kelly (Person #2) and I started talking about the cooperative that she's partnering with (you can read the article written in the Honolulu Star Bulletin: http://starbulletin.com/2007/10/25/features/story02.html). For those living in Hawaii, you know what I mean when I say that when you're home in the islands, we really live a world apart from everything. Although I'm interested in global affairs, when I'm home, I have everyone and everything I love. So, although I was excited to return to Egypt, it's difficult to remember WHY. Kelly's aspirations to make a difference and help women a world away from her (in Philippines) reminded me why I'm here, which I'll save for later. Mutually encouraged, we hug. THEN she GAVE me one of the bags she was selling! It was a beautiful moment. I continued my trek to Macys until I repeated, aloud, "I DON'T NEED ANNNYYYTHING!" Thank the Lord. I will remember Kelly. I will remember these women she's helping. With my newest-eco friendly-recycled-let's-help-women addition to my bag collection, much needed inspiration, and a friendly hug from a stranger, I was ready to begin my 38 hours of travel back to my sandbox.

Well, go get some coffee, maybe a snack, and when you return I might just tell you about my 10 hour layover in Los Angelas or my 9 hour layover in Amsterdam, which resulted in four hours of train travel to and from Belgium.....or maybe I'll tell you some highlights about my trip.......or not. Either way, I'm learning a lot and have a lot to look forward to. My goal for my last five months here is to have FUN, FUN, FUUUUUN! I'll try to include you in on some of the ensuing excitement!

keeps going, going, going....and going.

Chad Rebels Surrounding Presidential Palace

Egypt reseals Gaza border breach

Seven killed in suicide blast on Lanka train

Kenya opposition urges peacekeepers

5 Shot Dead at Suburban Chicago Store

Iraqi Officials Say as Many as 100 Killed in Bombings at City Markets

fishy hands

2 Scissors, 2 sticks of glue, lots of paper, and even more smiles. A typical morning in the "Green Room" at the 57 3 57 Children's Hospital where I started volunteering this past Monday. Arriving around 10am, I spend the morning cutting, folding, drawing, and today, I got to be Aya's left hand (here left hand was too brusied from needles).

I work with the in-patients who have cancer. I hang out until 1:30ish teaching the children and their Mom's different crafts. These aren't complicated, technical crafts, just simple, easy, fold here, cut there, glue this types of crafts I learned growing up.

Every two weeks, the hospital has a party for the children, so this week, I made crowns for the boys and girls on the 6th floor where I've been working. The excitement of the Mom's seeing their children receive this is reward enough! The Mom's are the nurses. They are at the hospital, dressed in grubs, rolling the IV machines around, pushing buttons, and doing whatever else they can to keep their children comfortable and happy (which isn't always easy).

To get to the hospital, I catch a taxi to the Metro Station, take a 30min metro ride, and walk about 15 minutes through a part of Old Cairo. Old buildings lining streets full of goats, sheep, and blood from the local butcher shop; the clanging of ironsmiths, tin buckets full of coal, and old wooden stands full of delicious looking fruit whose vibrancy contrasts the dark hues of the old buildings.

Walking through these steets brings a smile to my face. And yesterday, brought me fishy hands. As I began my little hike up the stairs to the metro, a few older ladies grasped to the railing with grocery bags full of fish. Relieving them of their load, I waited at the top, returned their fish, and went on my way.......with fishy hands.

While being squished by smelly men in the metro (I couldn't find the women's car again), the fishy hands served as a good reminder of why I'm here -- standing far too close to a pit full of un-deodarized arm..........

Brief Glimpse

On 5th January, Lianne and I left Egypt to travel with like-minded friends in order to experience another part of the Arab world. Our journey begins:



3 hour flight, 1 hour drive through, 1 windy road through backroads, we arrive at our orientation destination. Still recovering from a week sick in bed, the last thing on my mind was making friends. Boy, was I in for a surprise...a few surprises!



Orientation included information about the countries we were going to visit (our group of 15 split into 3 groups), places to visit, culture-appropriate behavior, and other travelling need-to-knows. I and three others comprised "Team Bahrain:" a fun-loving couple from Southern California, a Swiss-German-Jordanian, and myself the Half-Japanese from Hawaii.



The four of us became a little family and really enjoyed our time together. The following is the first entry into our team journal, which I wrote each day. To read the others, please visit http://thepowellpeople.blogspot.com/
11 January 2008Home: Hospital mazes and hyper-markets - Welcome to Bahrain!

And so, Team Bahrain begins: Aaron, Allison, Sarah, and Janean. Here we are, sitting at Gate 6 amused by our honorary 5th member, 20 Questions entertaining us with random questions such as, “Is it bigger than a pound of butter?” or “Does it bring joy to people?” Minding our own business, ignoring the awkward stares of others, our team bonding continues interrupted by a giggly toddler who decides to attack innocent Allison. It was more of a hit-and-run, minus the run. A waddle is more like it, and accompanied with a child’s rendition of the evil laugh, this little tyke succeeded in his endeavors, and his memory will forever be recorded in the happenings of Team Bahrain.

20 Questions in pocket, luggage in tow, we finally land in Bahrain. Minus passport control’s suspicion of Janean’s identity, everyone made it through just fine. Hungry, tired, and full of eager anticipation, we load our cart –

Seven pieces of luggage, check
Five team members, checkPassports, check
Hungry stomachs, double check

Stepping out of the airport, we are quickly greeted as the “three Americans and one Swiss-German-Jordanian.” I suppose no one had difficulties identifying us, obviously. Loading our luggage into two vehicles, we begin our journey through the extensive city of Bahrain toward the American Mission Hospital, which will be home for the next two weeks.

Parking across the street, we strap on our backpacks, roll our suitcases, and trek our way across the street, open the door to the hospital, and breath in the warm air in relief – we’re finally home! Elhamdulallah, right?

Or not. Little did we know what lay ahead: too many corners, a few elevator rides, one bridge, various doors until, at last, room 505 – Home sweet home! Following sighs of relief as we sink into the living room couches, quick introductions, we make our way to Bahrain Mall – food our goal. Nothing will stop us now.

One hour later, here we sit, Allison and Aaron, the Cali couple, enjoy Japanese grill; Janean, the half-Jap from Hawaii and Sarah, the Swiss-German-Jordanian indulge in tasty Persian Grill. Diversity is an understatement. Finally fed, we begin our journey through the hyper-market.

Yes, hyper-market, not to be confused with supermarket. Just imagine the excitement, or lack thereof, as four of us tired and fed, stroll, or lag rather, through too many aisles, filled with too many options, thinking of one thing: bed! With a common goal in mind, we persevere, pay, load up, and head home -- not so hyper. Day one, done.