Decisions

A friend continually reminds me that, as we get older, the margin for error decreases. Consequences for wrong or poor decisions seem to come at a higher cost. Living back with my parents illuminates this with the everyday, "small" decisions.

An unnecessary comment. Stuff left out. Dishes not washed. Every decision I make in this house affects everyone else living here. People notice my shoe pile growing in front of my bedroom door and aren't happy when they trip over my purse or knock over my mail. Ipod plugged into my Mom's computer. Letters waiting to be mailed on the dining room table. All these things are so minute and yet all so intricately entwined with the lives of others.

At the same time, all of my other decisions equally, if not more, affect those I've allowed into my life. How I spend my time with or without people, what I do or don't do, everything says something. So what am I saying? What have I failed to say? If every moment has a purpose, every now says something, then what am I saying now?

I fear, too often, "me" and "I" get in the way of what it is I really want to say. Of what I'm trying to say. Of what I've been saying all along:

I love you.

What are you saying now? Look at the people around you. The daily intersecting of lives? Before we know it, too many nows have passed and that voice, which we all have, forgets what life is all about.

May your decisions NOW speak something worth saying.

Something worth hearing.

While in Egypt, I discovered the enjoyment of baking. Aside from playing dough darts with left overs, baking has the potential to appeal to so many senses -- smells, hopefully, entice others to "check in," looks invite them to sit and indulge, taste keeps them coming back.

And I, when I have....no, when I make the time, enjoy the process -- selecting the recipe, gathering the ingredients, occasionally pretend I'm the host of a cooking show...only occasionally, I assure you :)

I prepared some pizza dough for lunch tomorrow. Yes, it's 1:30am, and I'm making pizza dough. Love it. With some locally grown tomatoes, I intend to use my Egyptian mom's tomato sauce recipe, throw in some basil from the garden, and.....some quality store bought mozzarella. Pick some lemons from the garden, make a little lemonade, cut a few orchids, find a few friends: a recipe for a good time, I hope. :)

And then I'll call my dentist to schedule the pulling of all my wisdom teeth. Post-pizza, of course!

waiting in the car at the open market. no parking. listening to Mark Driscoll's latest series: The Peasant Princess, Song of Solomon (Mars Hill Church, Seattle).

coffee breaking at the samoan jack in the box.

perusing the aisles of marukai, the japanese market.

a morning well spent with grandpa and grandma.

sipping tea made with fresh mint leaves from the spearment plant that i bought today.

hurting hands from cutting overgrown grass with scissors yesterday.

procrastinating from the daunting task of cleaning and organizing my room.

i've "grounded" myself. no phone, internet (after i'm done with this blog, of course), or re-cleaning my bookshelves and desk (the only places in my room that i consistently clean and organize) until i finish cleaning my entire room, which includes fully unpacking. grrr.

here goes.

To See Live:

Cirque du Soliel
Wicked
Transiberian Orchestra
Coldplay
Nickle Creek
Barcelona (again)

T time

tea seeps a subtly sophisticated ambiance while providing remedies of varying sorts. and yet, i have never enjoyed tea (except green teas) and, therefore, have never owned a tea set; that is, until this week.

i now own two tea sets. southern comfort has its appeal, obviously.

this past year, i have acquired a taste for tea and it's accompanying ambiance. "would you like a cup of tea" not only extends a gesture of hospitality but an opportunity for conversation and friendship. Lipton will do, but I hope to collect an array of appetizing, appealing, and unique teas.

along with my interest in wine, i hope to use my interest in tea as an extention of my interest in you, in being Together, in T time.

it's

really late. i'm tired but can't sleep. i don't drink much coffee but today, simulatenously sipped a tall caramel machiatto and soy, vanilla latte until both were finished. then did this intense workout with the couple i'm staying with. then met up with friends. then had a cup of tea. then came home. then had a great conversation with my friend. then watched a few clips of "so you think you can dance," then tried to sleep. then decided to share all of the above with you.

you know that feeling that comes over you the moment you realized that you've unintentionally hurt someone? that dreadful distaste. someone is hurting because of something you did...that's the feeling i experience when i consume coffee. today, i downed a double shot of dread. twelve hours later, the dread returns in a new form of distaste as i can't seem to find the final ingredient for this delicious recipe called sleep.

if only if i hadn't eagerly volunteered to take the drink that the barista shouldn't have messed up :)

ps. i love the south. southern comfort reminds me of the aloha spirit, bringing families and communities of people together - food, family, and fun top the priorities of both!

oh canada

still in canada for a few more days. learning lots....like my grandma files her nails on fridays, my grandpa has the HUGEST smile when interacting with his peers, papaya trees (like cherries) are male and female...oh wait, papayas don't grow on trees....there some other plant. there's a lot you learn while sitting on a train or bus for extensive periods of time.

while sticking my head out of the window of the vestibule on the train, i felt what i imagine to be a glimpse of the hope and anticipation of the pioneers back in the day. not knowing what's around the next ridge or through the next tunnel, we just kept riding on.

i've spent a lot of time with my grandparents. apparantly, my grandpa thinks i'm hilarious -- he laughs at all of my jokes! he's a keeper :) but seriously, i'm so glad i can spend this time with them. i'm especially interested to know what he's thinking as he stares out the window of the train for hours at a time...watching the world pass him by.

from the land of maple syrup and igloos ;)